Literally have no one else

I have no one else but this blog to say that I'm jumping off a bridge. I'm done. I had the worst breakdown that resulted in me sobbing my eyes out self mutilating disassociating blur. My mom ended up waking up and just holding me as I sobbed on the bathroom floor. I want to die so so so badly it hurts so much to keep living like this. It's not selfish for me to not want to be in misery anymore. I've tried everything to get better and nothing did I just want to make my head quiet.