I'm supposed to write "A Letter to my Eating Disorder" telling it off and shit, but i'm still clinging on.
I don't want to recover, I don't want to keep gaining weight. I'm up to 101! :( I'm so fucking upset you don't even know. The girl in my group breaks my heart. She is absolutely gorgeous, her flaws make her even more beautiful. She hates how she looks, she breaks down crying from how ugly she feels and I cant help but cry because I think she's the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. Honestly, she's that one person I keep telling myself I can't let myself like, but every time I see her, ugh, my heart just skips.....I want her to feel how beautiful and wonderful she is. She's is talented, smart, funny, her laugh is just to die for, she is so caring....and she's so focused on recovering. I'm too afraid to get close with her and I drag her back into this sick world. She deserves so much better than this.
Oh sweetie, I'm sorry to read about your situation. I was forced into weight restoration a couple of years ago and went from 95lb to 145 in a matter of months :(
ReplyDeleteKeep fighting sweetie. We'll be here to support you no matter what <3
xxBella
Huni.. I am so sorry I wish there was something I could do to make yourself feel better.. It's funny how easy it is for us to see so much beauty in others and none in ourselves.. I am sending you hugs, you are not failing, its the ed telling you you are.. And you are still teeny tiny.. Love you xx
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