Outpatient?

I'm actually very frightened.
Yesterday I had an appointment with my therapist, Mellisa.
She started to irritate me during the session so I started having some attitude and then she came over and saw all my scars, fresh cuts....and she instantly told me she doesn't feel safe letting me leave
So after fighting with her for a bit we finally settle on me coming in twice a week instead of once a week.
But then! she decided I needed and an emergency assessment.
So for another hour I sat there explaining, crying, talking, answering her questions.
They want me to start a 15 week Adult Intensive Outpatient Program on Monday -_____-
They drug test so I can't smoke at all.
I have to go in 3 times a week for 3 hours and Friday meetings are with family!
I just feel absolutely horrible worse than i've been lately and I don't know what to do!

I've been stuck at 92 lbs and I don't know how that's possible. I weighed myself with sweats, and a big sweater on and it said 92.8 lbs so I take off all my clothes and it's still the same! What is wrong with me I will always be a fat cow.

& fucking worse today we're having a lunch for my birthday and there's going to be pizza, lasagna, salad, breadsticks, cupcakes, cookies, ice cream and I just want to throw it all away and scream at them for getting it! but then they just want to give me a good time but they don't understand what I'm going thru with food right now.

I have my psychologist appointment at 10:15 this morning and I'm going to see what he thinks about the program....I don't know why they would want to put me in group therapy when I can't even get myself to go to a job interview....I have such bad social anxiety and it only makes it worse thinking about having to go into a room filled wth people talking about their problems and feelings and it'll most likely make me burst into tears...

sorry for the pointless rant