God this is the reason why I never come home!!! There is food everywhere. French bread slices (easier to binge on), coconut cake, 3 flavors of ice cream, pumpkin souffles, chips, cheese, fucking everything under the sun and I can't touch any of it no matter how much my stomach is screaming at myself....


fuck i just remember i probably should go weigh myself since i binged massively last fucking night after my horrible day of non stop crying over what?? I don't even know just a mixture of my life finally hitting me?....fuck i'm about to go step on that scale.....i can't get myself to get off this computer i'm so fucking scared. If i'm over 95 lbs fuck my legs are going to end up so much worse than i've already  made them :'( ughhh here it goes.....................

92 lbs still! fuck well what do i expect for being a cow and eating the past few days. i guess its better than gaining.

I have therapy in a couple minutes and it sucks I don't like her and I have been having a really bad few days and I don't want her to be the one I have to let it all out to. God damn it. I thought I was getting better and within a couple of minutes my life came spiraling back down.

I have no job, now on academic probation, i backed my car up into a pole, i need an oil change for my car, i need new tires for my car, i need a new headlight for my car, i need to get my tooth infection fixed before it kills me, my dad's fucking using again, my mom is completely stressed and trying to keep it together for everyone. My life will always have stress. Always.