It's sad that I'm not even trying not to eat today and from how much shit is happening my body refuses food. I get a cold sweat, then chills all over, then my body wants the food all out. I don't feel good :( I'm sad, alone and even seeing Landon didn't make it better. Even though he's seemed to get over everything. I have such a love hate thing for him. I don't know which one is overpowering me right now. I just want to be fuking okay! I want to be able to think or draw without being clouded and blocked. I want to be ME again god dammit! I just want to get my drawing back. I have all these ideas in my head but as soon as i put that pencil in my hand it disappears and what I imagined isn't what is on the paper.
I just want a fucking break already! PLEASE!!!!!!
You need to sit Landon down and have a serious talk with him, tell him how you feel, how you need his support more than anything, because he obviousy means a lot to you, you love him, and he loves you too. Just sometimes guys don't know how to show it...i hate that about them! Things will become clearer with time, you need to write your feelings down as soon as they enter your head, then burn the paper, as a way of letting them go :) It works xx
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