Wednesday, July 3, 2013

I am back, and I need to be more than ever.

Hey remember when i used to write on here every day?...Obsess over my food, my thoughts, my feelings, my problems...Well I don't know what happened. Its like I lost the will to even have discipline with myself. I just gave up on trying so hard and I'm more miserable than ever.
I stopped counting calories even though every bite of food was screaming at me to not kill it.
I feel the guilty effect from just eating and not listening to ana as she screams in my fucking face every damn day. I used to be 88 lbs and they forced me to eat....
Well I have a job again.
I have access to a computer while I'm here and I can start counting calories, restricting as much as possible, diet pills, exercise, weighing everyday most likely twice a day.
I feel like a FAT PIG
please give me motivation

4 comments:

  1. Darling! I am so glad you are still around.. Good luck with everything.. I know how horrid it is to let go of this and find everything fall apart. But I know you of all of us can get it together and get back everything you let go of..

    Always here for you my dear.
    All the best xx

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    1. thank you so much for believing in me. I've already got my weight down to 106 from 110 the other day. I hope you are okay.

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  2. Hey sweetie, welcome back. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so badly at the moment. But it's always a worry when people stop posting, so I'm relieved to know you're still here.

    Sending you a big hug. Keep us updated xx

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    Replies
    1. I know i need to be updating more I just get into these moods where its so hard to write what i'm feeling

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