Thursday, September 13, 2012

Ive lasted this long thanks to you <3

The girls who hav supported me throughout my time on here have kept me stronger than I have ever imagined. I truly love you all with all my heart and hope and pray you don't ever get to the point of np return. I've tried my hardest but due to the lack of healthcare here I cannot get the type of help I need at the moment. My only option is this. I'm so sorry for all th hurt I will cause for some people but this way it will be th last time I will ever hurt a soul. My strength has dissolved. And suicide consumes my mind all the time. I woke up 8 times during the night just to read suicide stories. In the news suicide is everywhere, tv shows I watch are always suicide episodes, people I know seemed to know someone who just commited. Everywhere I turn the word is haunting me. My mind isn't here. I zone out everything around me blurs my heart races I'm turnig to weed to mask it but it just makes me more alone. I'm afraid of my head. I'm so fuckig sorry :'( so so so sorry :'( don't let yourself get here. It hurts I'm begging anyone who feels depressed or even slightly sad get help right away don't be afraid because it gets worse and then you will have something to be afraid of. I love you all. May you become beautiful butterflies in the end <3

3 comments:

  1. Don't you dare do anything!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm back now and i will support you through it all!! I've been there hunni, i've OD'ed, the lot, but i'm still here, and if i can do it, then so can you!! Please do not give up! I'll never give up on you, never <3

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  2. Hey sweetheart, I don't like the sound of that post...Please don't hurt yourself, don't give up.
    I have been there too, I really have. I know what you mean, to be afraid of your own mind. It will get better, just not right away. Maybe you need find something in life long-term to strive for and focus on that makes you happy.
    I know you're going through a really hard time at the moment, but you need to push through it, you are strong and you can do it, I know you can.
    It's disappointing that you aren't getting the care you need, it makes me upset to hear that, but I know you can hold on your own for awhile hun. Is there anyone you know that you can talk to or just spend some time with for awhile?
    Don't give up, please take care <3
    Love Alice xx

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  3. REPLY TO MY MESSAGES!!
    I'm terrified. Please reply to something. I need to know you're okay.
    I love you so much darling, please please please be okay.

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