All I right now is a gigantic cup of hot lemon ginseng green tea. My body is fucking hating me right now, my stomach hasn't stopped burning since I got off work last night "/ I even made a salad for dinner and I could barely eat any and it was soooo goood! I stir-fried asparagus, celery, green beans, and bell peppers in sesame oil. When they were almost done I put a tiny bit of basil pesto spread we had. Then I cut up Romaine lettuce tossed that in sesame oil, lemon juice, and this like chili pepper jalapeno paste it was sooooo good! and of course I couldn't even eat. I know for a fact that I was under 100 calories yesterday.
Landon says that he doesn't want to become vegetarian or vegan again :( but he said he would support me doing it. I really wish he wouldn't have gotten my hopes up. He has become addicted to counting calories though. I don't want him getting skinny though. I like thats he's bigger than me, I feel small and safe. I've only had sex with one person who was skinner than me, and let me tell you the entire time I felt awkward, uncomfortable, and just extremely fat.
Today for work my mom made me bring a stupid salad that she bought me and the whole damn this is 280 calories...for one meal?? It makes me go fucking insane just thinking of eating all of that at one time. My stomach is already burning anyways and I have no appetite so maybe I can get out of eating it.
Sorry for such the lame post "/ I'll most likely post a few more throughout the day as always. I hate my job.
It's a shame he can't go vegan with you :( But as long as he supports you, that's all that matters :) You can do this!! Your doing so well!! xx
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