My parents left for their vacation with my sister last week and I was already having anxiety because they're flying on two planes, and they're going very far (I've never been more than half way thru California without them) and it's for a long time. It's not too much the fact that they'll be gone. I just feel alone...like they'll leave me here......and then to make it all worse after dropping them off at the airport I GOT COMPLETELY LOST!!! I missed one exit, then I missed the Fwy exit so I turned onto a street I knew would take me straight down to Landon's house, but take forever and it would be going through the ghetto at night, but then that street was CLOSED half way down so I turn onto the only street I can and found the fwy but stupid me didn't see I was on the NORTH instead of SOUTH...and I have horrible direction perception so when I'm going in the wrong direction it looks completely normal to me and makes me feel as if I'm going the right way. Well I realized when I was pretty much all the way out of LA County....so right then I go into a full blown panic attack hop off the fwy, and I have absolutely no idea where I'm at. So I call my mom in the airport completely balling my eyes out, freaking out telling her how i'm scared, and they're going so far, and they're going to leave me....I really broke down...I do miss them a lot....luckily I found my way back home not too far after that.
since then i've been binging on anything possible
I hate it and I havent even weighed myself
Darling. I hope you're okay. It must have been terrifying getting lost. I have terrible sense of direction too, I got lost walking home from dropping my cat at the vet's once, I ended up walking down the edge of the motorway crying so hard I couldn't breathe, my family all found it hilarious that I got lost so close to home, but it was the most terrifying experience, I had no idea where I was.
ReplyDeleteYou're family will not leave you, you know they won't. Make the most of the opportunity to have your own space and not have to share your room with anyone. Relax while they're away. The binging won't ruin anything in the long run, you have so much control, you'll work it out.
Love you.
I hope you're ok my love, i know how terrifying panic attacks are, and you were so brave to get through it <3 I'm truely proud of you, Your family haven't left you :) They will be back! Just keep counting down the days :) In the mean time, see people and have people over, have company as much as possible :) You're never alone xx
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