Day 3 Fast

I intended to fast for 1 day but it's gone into 3 days. I hvent been able to sleep for the past 2 nights. 4 am last night I wake up to my heart pounding uncontrollably, sweating, shaking, and lightheaded. I figured i needed sugar so I sucked on a Popsicle and then that when everything got worse. Whenever I'm about to vomit I go completely unconscious and I know by now when it's going to happen...so all of a sudden I start feeling that and for the next 30 min I was face in the toilet uncontrollably dry heaving the little stomach acid I had. I finally fell asleep and didnt wake until 3 pm and we were supposed Togo to dinner for landons moms birthday but he got into one of his moods and all hell broke loose o snapped massively and we've just been on edge since. We're at hookah now he's off playing a game and I'm just here as always.....I begged God to kill me today to just let me end already....I wish He would listen.


And all I want is to fucking step on the scale to see what I've lost. 3 days ago I was 103 I want to be below 100 lbs. Oh an my fucking sunburn is peeling, the one thing I think is so utterly disgusting I'd rather clean up dog shit than peel off dead skin.


“Set your alarm for 6am. Don’t groan when it goes off and pull the covers over your head, get up and start your day. Put on a baggy top and running shorts. Go downstairs and pour yourself a nice big glass of ice water. Cut up some fruit and mix it in with yogurt. Add some granola. Now go outside. Stretch for 10 minutes. Skip for 5 minutes. Jog for 10 minutes. Run for 10 minutes. Walk back. Lay out a towel on the ground and lie down on it. Do 50 crunches. Yes, they hurt, but they are 100% worth it. When you’re done, get in the shower. Use a nice smelling shampoo and matching conditioner. Shave your legs and wash your body. Exfoliate your face. Get out of the shower and let your hair air dry. Look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? If you do, good for you. Do this every day and you will continue to love yourself. If you don’t like what you see, do this every day and pretty soon you will. Being lazy might feel good at the time, but being active feels better in the long run. How badly do you want it?”