Here I am

So basically yesterday I had one of the best days I've had in a long time. Landon picked me up (3 hours after the time he said he would -____- ) then we headed to the beach. We skated the strand for like 3 hours. Such a good work out! I did fall like 3 times though cause I'm such a show off lol and I may have really hurt my shoulder it hurts to move it. But we had a really good time we watched seals, birds, looked at all the shops. He told me one day he's going to treat me to a day that I deserve. He wants to take me to get my nails done, take me out to eat, go out paddle boating around the harbor. I was so happy, like so ridiculously happy that I just wanted to stay in that moment never have to go back because I know it'll just be shitty. He's been the center of my life for a year now and it's like how do I just walk away from that?

I did eat yesterday, it wasn't the healthiest but I figured since I did skateboard for 3 hours I could eat some. I didn't over eat either I was just eating to please Landon really. He kept offering to get me food before I went home but it was like 12 a.m and I wasn't going to eat shitty food that late. My work this morning did buy us breakfast though "/ It was mcdonalds and they bought me a Sausage McMuffin COMBO! ugh it was so much food and of course when I was alone in the kitchen I almost scarfed down all of it and the minute people got in the room it's like I couldn't even eat anymore. But I definitely have already hit the calorie limit for the day so for the rest of the day water, and diet pill. And on my lunch I'm walking for the entire hour, I was 110.1 lb last night I checked and i'm happy it's gone down but i'm afraid of it going up. You can see the difference in my collarbones, and my ribs. My thighs have about an inch gap in between now.

today's weed advice from my calender lol

Me; and my collarbones, and my fat arms